That’s right, folks, Valentine’s Day is coming! …and if you treat your special someone right, you might just do the same! Maybe your lover likes flowers and chocolates, and movies about posh businessmen who buy hookers expensive jewelry. If that’s the case, you should probably be moving along now. Go find something costly and shiny, and wrap it up with a pretty red bow.
But for those of you whose valentine would rather get a gassed-up chainsaw and a sorority girl with a 10-second head start… we’ve got just the right cards for you!
First, I know it’s early, and you probably haven’t gotten me anything yet (hint: nothing says “I love you” like a flamethrower!), but I wanted to give all my readers some Valentine’s Day cards worthy of their twisted devotion! So, enjoy these free online valentines, and pass the link on to someone you love in a filthy way!
Of course, if you want some valentines that you can hand out in person, we’ve got you covered there too — three new designs for regular greeting-card style valentines and a 32-pack of mini valentines – just like you used to hand out in grade school. Of course, if you’d handed out valentines like these in grade school, you’d get yourself a one-way ticket to see the school psychiatrist and a pair of those “safe scissors”.
For a bit of added fun, you should go take a look at our Squidoo page where we pose the question, “Sweet Valentines – or Brilliantly Evil Ones?” Which would you rather get this year? …I think we can all agree that either of those is more enjoyable than the raging case of ctherpes you were planning on giving your partner this year! Farther down on the page, there’s a place to post your own sick & twisted (or syrupy, lovey-dovey, if you’re into that stuff) Valentine’s quotes and tidbits! If your quote is especially good, I’ll doodle up an illustration to accompany it, and we’ll put it up here on the site. So have fun, and remember: if you keep picking at it, it’s never going to heal.
